Higher Math

I can't find this on the internet anywhere but Dave Dierker sent it to me and it's hard to believe he's funny enough to make this up on his own:

When someone asked Takeo Spikes, a Bengals linebacker at the time, if he liked having a bye the first week of the season, he said sure, since no matter what they would still have a .500 record.  You know 0-0.  Same number of wins and losses. 

According to his Wikipedia entry, Takeo majored in liberal arts at Auburn.  Which, you know, explains a lot.