6.10.2012

Nearly 25% of WHS athletes lose eligibility

In a shocking development, nearly 25% of Wyoming High School athletes lost their eligibility Saturday night in an incident involving WHS Principal Aaron Marshall, Superintendent Dr. Susan Lang, and Board of Education President Todd Levy.

The Roundup has learned that a so-called "graduation" occurred, making nearly one out of every four WHS athletes ineligible for future competition.  Athletic Director Scott Kaufman (AKA ADSK) was unavailable for comment, but was heard muttering, "Tradition never graduates, tradition never graduates, tradition never graduates..."

In a related development, Middle School Assistant Principal Bernie Barre, in his last official act before retirement, convinced MS Principal Mike Overbey to send one quarter of the MS student body to the high school in the fall to make up for Saturday's loss.  Skeptical of the freshmen's ability to replace the graduating seniors, ADSK said, "The best thing about freshmen is that they turn into sophomores."

Photos of Saturday's graduation can be found here.  Be wary though, this type of reporting requires copious documentation (in this case, 373 pictures).  It also must be done stealthily, which doesn't always allow for such luxuries as proper focusing of the camera.

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